Not so straight!

By Rinky Kumar

Parvati Balagopalan's new film Straight has been released this week. It takes a humourous look at a man who intends to discover his sexual intentions after serenading men and women alike.

This is just one of the many Hindi films that deals with homosexuality. That makes us wonder about all those movies that have highlighted this theme in a ridiculously insensitive way.

Mind you, Milk, a film based on gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk, might have lapped up several awards and accolades but it sank without a trace here. Same goes for Brokeback Mountain that depicted the forbidden love between two cowboys.

We can assure you that if any of those films were ever remade in India, there would be utter chaos. We would have moral brigades making a tamasha of Indian morals, cultures and values, assaulting the entire cast and maligning them.

Here, rather than depicting gays, bisexuals and lesbians realistically, Hindi films usually end up mocking the same. So we have Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham prancing around town holding hands and proclaiming 'we are gay' to their lady love, all just for a place to stay in Dostana.

We can't stop ourselves from, walking down memory lane and giving you a low down about only those films that have dealt with sexuality ahem, rather lamely!

1. Bombay Boys

This pseudo-comedy by Kaizad Gustad was one of the early films that looked at sexuality in a lighter vein. Xerxes Mistry played by Alexander Gifford discovers he's a homosexual after coming to Mumbai. He has an affair with his gay landlord (Roshan Seth). The director did not take the theme ahead in the film. It was one of the many sub-plots with a loose end. I saw this decade-old movie recently and couldn't stop myself laughing at the film?s sheer ridiculousness!

2. Girlfriend

Who can forget Esha Koppikar and Amrita Arora's raunchy poses and steamy kiss that created havoc across the country in Girlfriend? Karan Razdan's 'realistic' film not only portrayed lesbians in a rather amusing light but also made the love story quite filmy. So we had Esha and Amrita sharing a steamy night, after which Amrita goes ahead and has an affair with another guy. That turns Esha into an obsessive, jilted lover. The moral brigade was up in arms against the film which had to be pulled off theatres across the country. All for this unrealistic lesbian tale...tsk, tsk!

3. Page 3

Like all Madhur Bhandarkar movies, this film too, took a 'realistic look' (yawn) at the journalism world. So Mr Bhandarkar showed a male model, who was the protagonist?s boyfriend, having an affair with a gay photographer as an easy route to success. The director just showed one scene to convey the message. It just added another twist to the already convoluted story, that?s all! Phew, some people are so pseudo-artistic!

4. Life in a metro

This film attempted to look at life in the big, bad city of Mumbai in a realistic way. But it only ended up making a mockery of homosexuals. Konkona Sensharma?s boyfriend (who is actually a gay in the film, sillies) fools her by having an 'affair' with her. He intends to have Konkona as the trophy wife and go steady with his boss boyfriend behind her back.

Perfect, so here we had a film that portrayed gays in a mean light and drive home the message that all gays are conniving! Great, one more label on the community.

5. Fashion

Madhur Bhandarkar was at it again! But this time, unlike Page 3, he presented every other character as gay. Almost all the designers in the film were portrayed as homosexuals who were either conning girls into becoming their wives or ridiculing models. But, we are not surprised, for the film failed to give us a reality check about the fashion world too.

So how could we expect Mr Bhandarkar to do justice to the homosexuality sub plot??

6. Dostana

This wins hands down! Two good-looking actors are made to act as gays and then the producer and director claim that the film tries to create an awareness about homosexuality and respect people's choices. Yeah right!

That's why they made Abhishek Bachchan wear those ridiculous pink shirts with a weird gamcha and gave him those '! I?m so gay mannerisms!' We definitely deserve something better!