By Rinky Kumar, Team iDiva
Alok and Nandita Shroff were a happy couple. Apart from spending some much needed quality time together, they also enjoyed an active sex life. But all this changed when Nandita was suddenly detected with breast cancer. After the surgery, she started suffering from extremely low self body image and refrained from having sex. This caused a lot of friction between her and Alok.
Nandita is not alone. There are many women like her, who after being diagnosed with breast cancer, develop low self esteem and refrain from sharing an active sexual life with their partner /husband.
According to Dr. Sharita K. Shah, a Mumbai-based consulting woman and child psychiatrist, it's quite natural for a woman to feel this way. She says, "For the Indian woman, breasts and menstruation confirm her femininity. During breast cancer, this extremely private part of her body gets affected. As a result, the patient starts suffering from low self esteem and confidence. Moreover, treatments like radiotherapy, chemotherapy and surgery can cause lack of desire."
Communication is the key
The first step to resolve this issue is to communicate with her partner/husband. "She should talk to her partner about her feelings and make him understand her point of view."
The couple can gradually re-invent their sexual relationship by taking small steps like holding hands and sharing a good conversation. They can also indulge in other forms of intimacy with sexual overtones.
"The patient should also consult her doctor who can refer her to various self-help groups. These groups comprise cancer survivors who can understand the patient's point of view and help her rebuild her confidence," says Dr Shah.
Acceptance is the first step
Dr Raj Brahmbhatt, a sexologist, acceptance is the first step towards easing out the situation. "The patient should accept the reality. She should realise that breasts play an important role in a sexual act but over all, they form a small part of the body. She can also rebuild her self confidence by communicating with her husband, eating the right food and working out regularly. After a good workout session, endorphins are released in the body that ensure a feeling of well-being."
The couple should also strive towards spending some quality time together like reading books together, watching a film, holding hands or going for a walk. They can also opt for counselling sessions with a sex therapist where they can undergo sex therapy to rebuild intimacy.
"Sex therapists usually recommend sensate focus exercise where the focus is on sensuality," says Dr Brahmbhatt. The couple can also indulge in other forms of sexual acts like masturbation and oral sex. "They should try to experiment. They can try out various sex positions, use sex toys and indulge in some fantasy," he adds.
Take your time
Dr Brahmbhatt recommends that if the patient has undergone surgery, she should wait for six weeks before indulging in sex as it usually takes that much time for any surgery to heal.
Here are some tips that you can follow to enjoy a healthy sex life.
1) When you indulge in the love making act, ensure the lights are dim. "If the man sees the scars on the woman's breast, no matter how well he is mentally prepared, he might get dejected. It can also result in erectile dysfunction," recommends Dr Brahmbhatt.
2) The couple should try the side to side position where the woman's normal breast is on the upper side.
3) The patient should avoid trying out the woman on top position.
Follow these tips and rediscover a new facet of your relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment